I’m back and I’m ready to blog.
Maybe.
The situation is, I miss writing. I used to blog so frequently, then life and work and everything else became priority. Work took a front seat. I’ve got a career that I adore working for a brand that is amazing (ahem, Aveda, #AvedaEmployee, full disclosure here). I also really do prioritize health and activity. I’m not the crazy triathlete I was in my thirties, but I still adore long distance running, I bike when I can and I’ve realized the importance of weight training for the middle-aged lady (yes, I just admitted to being middle age). I get to the gym 3-5x per week. I also walk my dogs. A lot. And being outside is just… well… mandatory. Hiking, kayaking, wandering, exploring. I love nature and wildlife and the color palate of our planet.
Back in 1997, I started my first online journal. It was originally focused on my journey to health and fitness. I got serious about exercise and losing weight and eating healthy and all that stuff and I really enjoyed an online outlet and community as I set challenges, met goals and became the athlete that I was. Real life of a young twenty, then early thirty-something was what I also documented. Marriage, life, jobs and all the changes of young adulthood which were endless sources of content and I swear I need to re-upload all those entries here just for posterity.
And then, somewhere in the mid-to-late thirties, topic areas seemed less plentiful and my responsibilities in the other areas of my life overtook weekend blog sessions. From time to time, I’d return, but I felt like I didn’t have much to say. I wasn’t accomplishing new athletic feats, I had gained back a fair amount of weight, my job and career development required discretion. I didn’t have children so I didn’t have that subject matter and I kind of felt like I really didn’t anything relevant to contribute.
Add to that a life in social and digital media and exposure to the world of the “influencer” with follower numbers ginormous in comparison to the piddly thousands of monthly views I used to get — not exactly motivating. Not to mention, I’m not a hot, urban twenty-something with endless #OOTD and #LatteArt postings. Gah. Working in this industry come sometimes really make you hate this industry. Or at least feel, why bother when all the Barefoot Blondes and Naked Salads are doing it so well??
But here I am. I still miss writing. And, as I enter this older chapter of my life, I feel a shift in my overall ecosystem. I crave transparency and authenticity (although, honestly, I do gag a little every time I use either of those words in a PPT deck for work — so bear with me).
But here is the thing: Life — it’s not perfect and filtered. Social media can get us all fucked up in the head because everyone’s lives seem so perfect, especially in contrast to the day-to-day realities of our lives complete with stains and imperfections and mistakes. And maybe I just feel a need to share that — connect with that — the real.
If I’m being brutal honestly? The last few years have not been the greatest for me for reasons I can’t completely share on social media. And I acknowledge that hypocrisy saying both “let’s be real” but “I can’t really share.” But I guess what I’m getting at is that I don’t want to pretend or let the veneer of social media give the impression that shit is easy, because it’s not. Even if I can’t share “the thing”, I can acknowledge “the thing”!
Does that make sense?
Maybe. Maybe not. Even I’m not sure what I’m saying here other than I want an outlet again. I’m going to try this thing again because I do have things to say, feelings to feel. And even though I’m forty-four years old, I’m not out of stories yet.
Of course, that’s also not saying I won’t have my fair share of recipes and fitness inspiration and random fodder. I want to share the real. But I also want to share my life which is also made up of love affairs with beverages, cute animal pics and coloring books. Because, you know, that’s me. And if I take a half-day off from work and happen to spend it napping and playing Pokemon Go and starting a blog? Well, it’s the truth and reality in my world. XOXOXO.
hlockwoo 