I have started so many posts in the past 3 weeks that I have abandoned. With the news changing so dramatically day-to-day, and sometimes hour-to-hour, I’ll take a pause mid-post and then, based on the news, my complete mind space has shifted. Like most residents of Minnesota, I’m constantly shifting from fear to anger to hopelessness to frustration. I doom scroll the neighborhood chats, then social media and then the neighborhood chats again.

I’m not drinking enough water. I’m not exercising. I’m drinking more than I should. And I hurt. I hurt for all the people of color in my neighborhood being hunted. I cry for the families of Renee Good and Alex Pretti. I pray that Liam can come home and be with his family again. I’ve attended observer training. I’ve marched in the streets. I’m donating to as many fundraisers and donation drives that I can afford. I even got a dash cam in a moment of dark paranoia. And none of it seems like enough. My actions barely even scratch the surface in keeping my neighbors safe.

It’s sad. It’s hard. When friends and family from out of state check on me, I break down in tears. And I have every privilege in the world. This terror is new to me, unlike all the indigenous, Black, Latino and LGBTQ people who have always been targets of hate.

I have no advice. I’m doing what I can. And then there’s the job search, which feels absurdly disconnected from everything happening around me—except for the fact that I need a paycheck to pay my mortgage and insurance to cover my health. And even that feels selfish when there are people in my neighborhood who have been hiding in their basements for months.

So I’ve been thinking about how else I can help. As a digital marketer, I don’t know that there’s a ton of need for me outside bundling up to keep targeted storefronts in my neighborhood safe (no marketing skills necessary), but I did remember that I’m certified in Reiki. And my level 2 certification allows me to practice via distance, not just in person. So maybe there’s a need out there for me to provide at least some healing to those who need it.

I need to do a little research and figure out how best it can work—whether via Zoom or Instagram or some other digital platform. But there are a lot of people hurting out there who need all kinds of support. If I can add this to my volunteering, it’s another small action towards supporting my community.

What I will say is that while incredibly difficult, this moment in time has also been incredibly inspiring. The way Minnesotans are protecting their own is unmatched. I’m in awe of all the work, organizing and support that has been activated by this federal occupation. And while I’m disappointed we haven’t had large businesses and CEOs using their positions of power to speak up against the injustices being witnessed in person and via cell phone cameras, the regular people here are brave and valiant. I’ve never felt more strongly about the community in which I reside. Power to the people, y’all. Keep on resisting. We can do this!